I am so excited that its already time to talk to you again! I cannot tell you how hard it is for me not to talk to all of you every single day! Honestly. Not ok. But I have come to realize the reasoning behind it. Us Hermana's were talking to our teacher, Hermana Child (who by the way is so awesome and so spiritual, i don't know why she isn't married yet) and we were like why cant we just call our families like once a week? Thinking that that sounded like a pretty good thing to be able to do. We started talking and she was like, well, how come you sisters think that we aren't allowed to talk to our families? We all just stood there in silence for a couple seconds and we finally realized that the reason they don't want us to turn to our parents for all of our problems. Instead, they want us to turn to our father in heaven, who is also our parent. After that moment, my prayers to heavenly father have changed tramendously. I talk to him as if I am talking to you mom or dad about my day and the things i need help with. Its not just a routine prayer like I used to do. Sadly enough. That really has been such a huge blessing in my life. That is just one of the many things I have learned while I have been here, yes for 2 WEEKS!!! I cannot believe it. 2 weeks and I feel like its been a lifetime, yet at the same time it feels like just yesterday I got dropped off. Time is a weird thing here in the MTC.
I, Hermana Rogers, had the most amazing day yesterday. About 2 days ago, I had the absolute lowest low. I could not even begin to explain to you how alone and worthless I was feeling. Hermana Petersen and I have been teaching 1 lesson a day, sometimes 2 lessons a day. Hermana Petersen is AMAZING at her Spanish. She definitely shouldnt be in beginners spanish. So in our lessons, She usually says everything, I chime in here and there and bare my testimony and then say a prayer. About the only two things I know how to do. I would often start my sentences and not be able to finish them. I had so much I wanted to say but couldnt get the words out. Just imagine all these things wanting to come out of your mouth but you don't know the words to them. So you can't. Its the most frusterating thing I have ever ever experienced. I have another break down. I felt so alone. My companion was excelerating and here I was being left in the dirt. The next day rolled around and lets just say I was not excited to teach another lesson. I didn't want to go in there and humilate myself, once again. Not fun. We walked into class, we had a sub for Hermano Deen, our other teacher. Her name was Hermana Neilson. Cutest girl. She was so positive. She asked us what we were struggling with and we told her that we were unfortunately struggling with feeling the spirit in our lessons because 1 we were going off a script we had written out, and 2 we were just so focused on what the investigator was saying we dind't know what we were going to say next. she then challenged us to not take notes into our lesson today. I thought to myself, "oh no, there is no way. I will just sit there and not say anything if that's the case" But we did what she asked. Oh my goodness. I am a firm believer now, that if you put your faith in Christ, he WILL help you. One of the many amazing quotes from our Devotionals was "Heavenly Father did not send you here to fail" ever since this experience of mine, i know that's true. I was not allowing heavenly father to help me. I was relying on my notes and what I could do. Not what the spirit could do. We had THE most spiritual lesson. We made our investigator (our teacher) cry. We taught her how to pray and told her that being a single mother that works and has kids, heavenly father is there waiting for her to ask for his help. Any time of the day. It was amazing. She was crying in her prayer. Once I walked out of that lesson. I looked at Hermana Petersen and said, That was not me. I didn't know half of those words that i just said in there. That was the spirit. and of course, again, I cried. Later that day, we had to do a door approach. I was so excited to do it. I went up to the door and I gave my little thing saying "Somos misionaros de la iglesia de la jesucristo de los santos de los ultimos dios,,," (we are missionaires.....") and we talked about how we had a message for him (me saying all of this) he didn't have time so we got his contact info and then gave him a book of mormon to read and he was thrilled to read it! We will be giong back on saturday:) I felt SO good!! OH MY GOODNESS this is possible! I can do this:) All this hard work is not for nothing. I can promise you that. I love this oppertunity I have to serve. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else in my life.
I, Hermana Rogers, had the most amazing day yesterday. About 2 days ago, I had the absolute lowest low. I could not even begin to explain to you how alone and worthless I was feeling. Hermana Petersen and I have been teaching 1 lesson a day, sometimes 2 lessons a day. Hermana Petersen is AMAZING at her Spanish. She definitely shouldnt be in beginners spanish. So in our lessons, She usually says everything, I chime in here and there and bare my testimony and then say a prayer. About the only two things I know how to do. I would often start my sentences and not be able to finish them. I had so much I wanted to say but couldnt get the words out. Just imagine all these things wanting to come out of your mouth but you don't know the words to them. So you can't. Its the most frusterating thing I have ever ever experienced. I have another break down. I felt so alone. My companion was excelerating and here I was being left in the dirt. The next day rolled around and lets just say I was not excited to teach another lesson. I didn't want to go in there and humilate myself, once again. Not fun. We walked into class, we had a sub for Hermano Deen, our other teacher. Her name was Hermana Neilson. Cutest girl. She was so positive. She asked us what we were struggling with and we told her that we were unfortunately struggling with feeling the spirit in our lessons because 1 we were going off a script we had written out, and 2 we were just so focused on what the investigator was saying we dind't know what we were going to say next. she then challenged us to not take notes into our lesson today. I thought to myself, "oh no, there is no way. I will just sit there and not say anything if that's the case" But we did what she asked. Oh my goodness. I am a firm believer now, that if you put your faith in Christ, he WILL help you. One of the many amazing quotes from our Devotionals was "Heavenly Father did not send you here to fail" ever since this experience of mine, i know that's true. I was not allowing heavenly father to help me. I was relying on my notes and what I could do. Not what the spirit could do. We had THE most spiritual lesson. We made our investigator (our teacher) cry. We taught her how to pray and told her that being a single mother that works and has kids, heavenly father is there waiting for her to ask for his help. Any time of the day. It was amazing. She was crying in her prayer. Once I walked out of that lesson. I looked at Hermana Petersen and said, That was not me. I didn't know half of those words that i just said in there. That was the spirit. and of course, again, I cried. Later that day, we had to do a door approach. I was so excited to do it. I went up to the door and I gave my little thing saying "Somos misionaros de la iglesia de la jesucristo de los santos de los ultimos dios,,," (we are missionaires.....") and we talked about how we had a message for him (me saying all of this) he didn't have time so we got his contact info and then gave him a book of mormon to read and he was thrilled to read it! We will be giong back on saturday:) I felt SO good!! OH MY GOODNESS this is possible! I can do this:) All this hard work is not for nothing. I can promise you that. I love this oppertunity I have to serve. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else in my life.
That was a little spill about my spiritual experience. I couldn't not tell you. It definitetly changed me, and the missionary that i am becoming. I love my heavenly father so much.
I saw Holly Hillstead as well:) I was in this little room on my floor doing compionship study and this was the day the new districts were coming in. ( we are no longer the newbys) yay! haha and I looked up and saw holly! She was with her host looking for her room. She is on my floor!!:) I was so excited to see her. She was like, i don't even know why I wore make up today. haha i was like yeah girl, you'll feel like that a lot. I cry so much here. The spirit is AMAZING. You want to know my average morning. I told olivia in her letter that I really don't have much time to get ready. haha I shower at night, and by the time i shower its quiet time so i don't have time to blow dry my hair so i sleep on it wet and its a mess. Haha thats why its up a lot. but i have found a way to find time. I write in my journal in the class room during aditional study that way i don't have to do it in my room at night:) more time to get ready! the mornings, we wake up, get ready, and be out of our room by 7:20. So we have about an hour to get ready. not even. haha its hard to wake up. Good thing We have Hermana Gibbons in our room. She litterally jumps out of bed and says "BUENOS DIAS HERMANAS!" (good morning sisters) and turns on the lights. haha If it werent for her id sleep in. which is a no no. As for things that i need....I wrote in a letter to you about all the oils i use and will probably need to get more. Tell my puppies i love and miss them. I cry every time i sit down and think about them.
